Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Those Dirty Dogs!

It's the new media rant and it goes like this:

"Health Buzz: Pediatrician Group Wants Killer Hot Dogs Remodeled"

Let's break this down a bit. Hot dogs are full of chemicals. The meat is the leftover parts of animals that you'd really rather not think about. I don't even trust the "all beef" label...beef shouldn't look like that. They're just gross. They're certainly not healthy for your body.

So here's my beef with the whole Killer Hot Dog issue (aside from the sheer stupidity of it)...if they're gonna push for warning labels on the packages, can't they at least include something like "If you don't die from choking on this putrid stuff, you still stand the chance of dying a much more slow and painful death due to all the crap we put in these things. Or you might die from the toxins infused into your body to treat the cancer you get from repeatedly abusing your body by ingesting filth. Just sayin'."

But ya'll just go ahead and re-engineer a staple of the American Diet. Keep those kids from choking to death. Heck, make a law mandating that parents teach their latch-key kids a Self-Heimlich, so they can survive another day to play that xbox 360 till Dad gets home from work at 9PM, just to be on the safe side. We need more laws telling parents how to keep kids safe, don't we?

Or, listen to mom and don't goof off when you're eating hot dogs.

Oh, Good Grief.

*disclaimer* I do buy hotdogs for our camping trips and occasional summer backyard cookouts. I'm not a purist. In any given year, I may purchase a total of 8 packages of hotdogs. I have to smother them with so many condiments that the hotdog disappears. I would just eat the relish, but people would think I'm weird. And I ALWAYS cut them up for my little ones.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Monday to Me!

Our local paper has a trivia-type photo game to play. A photographer will shoot a picture of any object of his or her choosing that is located somewhere in the county. They publish a portion of the photo in the newspaper, and the object is to guess what you're viewing. The next day, they publish the entire photo. I have no idea what you win if you guess correctly. Probably nothing but the satisfaction of a job well done.

In honor of this game, I give you the following section of a photo I took.

Know what it is yet? If you guessed Swiss cheese, you're wrong.

If you guessed "Plastic diaper cover accidentally tossed in dryer", you win! Congratulations! Much like our newspaper, the gift you get is your own satisfaction.

Now, before you go thinking I'm all green and whatnot, never fear. I'm neither overly environmentally sensitive, OR stupid ambitious enough to use cloth diapers. Did that with my first two to save money. Discovered I'd rather be slightly sane than rich. Switched to She Who Must Be Hated By Eco-Conscious Wackos.

The real reason I have had these crinkly panties, as they're referred to in our house, is because not only am I of the Anti-Global Warming Frenzy lot of Americans...I am also a card-carrying member of the Moms Who Don't Change Diapers in the Middle of the Night Club. And the Save Yourself Some Laundry Loads By Putting Crinkly Panties Over Your Daughter's Diaper Just In Case She Drinks Too Much Before Bedtime Club.

What dumb thing have YOU done lately?