Monday, March 30, 2009

Tearing the Wrapper Off Counts as Exercise, Right?

Miniature Cadbury Caramel Eggs just don't have the appeal of the larger ones. Sure, it's easier to hide one in your mouth if one of the kids happen to appear in the room while you're sucking one down enjoying every small nibble. But darn it, they're wrapped in foil. Got any idea how long it takes to unwrap one of those things? I don't either - I gave up and just ate the gold shiny stuff along with the chocolate and caramel. Figured it might help me with the elimination process later on.

I also like to eat chocolate chips. My mother-in-law thought I was a complete loon when Tom and I first got married, because she had never heard of eating chocolate chips sans cookies. *BOGGLE* She thought it was such a strange notion that one year for Christmas, she bought me a bag of chocolate chips as a gift. It was practically my favorite gift that year, proving that sometimes mothers-in-law actually do get it right!

In the nearly-18 years I've been married, I can probably count on one or two hands how many times I've baked chocolate chip cookies. However, my hips tell a story of proportions best left denied. We won't go into that right now.

This issue with chocolate isn't held by myself alone. It is a familial trait. My oldest sister employed various methods of weaning her body from the desire for chocolate chips. One of my favorites involved her putting the yummy morsels in her deep freeze in her unheated, subzero temperature cement-floored garage in an attempt to fool her brain into thinking it could go without chocolate. Her feet didn't care that she had no socks on - they just automatically marched her body down the hallway and planted themselves in front of the freezer while she munched on frozen Nestles. I'm thinking she gave up on the notion that this plan worked, because she didn't develop frostbite requiring amputation.

Hershey's Kisses do in a pinch, but for all the work of unwrapping the chocolate, and picking off the pieces of that darn white tag that rings "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" bells in holiday commercials, you'd think the bite would last longer. Then again, maybe it would, if I actually bit instead of inhaling.

I like regular Hershey Bars, without almonds. There is no reason to clutter up perfectly good chocolate with nuts! But several years back, when they changed the wrapper to the shiny, slick plastic stuff, it nearly sent me over the edge! You have to grab the end just right, and pull it slowly open or you rip it, and therefore ruin the presentation of a perfect bar of chocolate. You actually have to put effort into ripping a straight line down the center, because otherwise the evil wrapper-gods sit and laugh at your mounting frustration as you watch the chocolate ooze out the end - melted at the mercy of your angry hands. I had to ask what was wrong with the old Foil-covered Paper Wrapping, so I called to complain. Yes, I actually called that 1-800 number they provide for just such comments. I complimented them on the quality of their food product, and told them they were causing issues with my addiction by forcing me to slow down in the presentation process. They took my comments under advisement, and most likely fell off their chair laughing. It did me no good - they didn't return to the former packaging.

Hershey's Nuggets are a much better option, if you have to unwrap. They're solid rectangles, and the wrapper is paper as opposed to flimsy, Kisses-type foil, so it doesn't rip. You can make them last for 2 full bites and feel like you've accomplished something. They have a melt-in-your-mouth option, if you're willing to hang on long enough. If you're not a chocolate purist, there are even several editions with various flavor enhancers like caramel, dark chocolate centers, and raspberry.


...for the immediate satisfaction without any of the fuss, go with Mini Hershey's Kisses. Found in the baking aisle with the chocolate chips and cocoa, these little temptations are smaller than your average Kiss, but packaged like chocolate chips. Therefore - unwrapped. Simply cut open the end of the silver bag, and pour the little boogers right into your hand. Directly into your mouth works if you're desperate, but this is usually only required for the first mouthful, after which you can dump some into a bowl and pick up smaller quantities.

Considering that we are so close to the Easter Holiday, I can't forget to mention one of my favorite places to sneak into once in a while. If you're anywhere near the Ft. Wayne, Indiana area and you're alone, visit DeBrand Fine Chocolates. I say alone, because if you haul the whole family in there, you're going to walk out with a T-shirt that says "I Went To DeBrand and All I Got For My 20 Bucks Was 5 Truffles and This Shirt That Won't Stretch Over My Hips".

My name is Deanna, and I'm a Convicted Chocoholic.

(image courtesy of google)


Elise said...

Did you know DeBrand's burned down two weeks ago?? No joke! The store on Coldwater is closed because of it, but they have the new bigger one out near Dupont.
Jon nearly died the first time I brought the bag of chips to the couch to watch TV with him. It was evidence I had been spending much too much time with his folks. I never ate the chips alone before I met Deb, but it is fantastic for a craving.
Usually I prefer Dove chocolate for milk chocolate, and I have yet to find my favorite dark chocolate brand. There's just something about the semi-sweet chips that hit the perfect sweetness-to-bitter ratio for a night's TV viewing and caloric consumption. It always satisfies!

Deanna said...

Again??!? Oh, the humanity!! It burned several years ago when maybe she was still running it out of her home? I can't remember.
The store near Dupont is the one we usually sneak into. I did the tour a couple years ago with friends from church.... mmmmmmmm.

The Mother said...

There is some real medical evidence that chocolate is actually good for you. It may lower blood pressure. It does, definitely, release endorphins. Which is what makes you feel good.

Dark chocolate is better. And you probably do burn a calorie or two tearing off the wrapper. Or, at least that's what I tell myself.

Deanna said...

I could be convinced to be a lab rat to see how low blood pressure can go by consuming chocolate. For the good of mankind, of course.

MerMer said...

Ahhhh, chocolate! One of my favorite subjects. My "secret stash" is no longer a secret b/c Cami can sniff out anything chocolate in 2.4 seconds flat! I've never had to worry about Kevin and Al eating my yummy addiction, b/c they aren't "chocolate people."(Yay! More for me!) And yes, when Cami and I run out of our favorite sweet treats, a bag of Dove dark chocolate, we resort to Nestle semi-sweet chips. Elise, you are not alone in being influenced by my mother. We made cookies while they were here last wknd and I don't think Mom ate a single cookie, but boy did she munch away on those choc chips!