Sunday, August 3, 2008

"Whaaat's Goin' On, Haeeere???!!??!?"

This is evidence that we do indeed have a garden this year. Despite the fact that we have neglected to pull weeds, (thanks to the mosquito infestation in our town,) we've still been able to pull a few vegetables off the plants and scurry back in the house before we get Draculated and infected with West Nile Virus.

As you can see, the zucchini, yellow squash, and acorn squash have provided a meal or two for us. We're just starting to get tomatoes. (Tom put nearly 60 plants in the ground - if any of you are lycopene deficient, please stop by - we can help.) Our green beans fared miserably. At last count, we had picked a whopping 3 beans from the stems. Our apple tree is going to yield lots of apples - we'll have to dodge the bad spots, but they should make decent applesauce. The pear tree is about to fall over from all the fruit we're just about to start picking.

But here's where it starts gettin' weird. We have a compost pile near the garden. We toss all of our peelings, rinds, eggshells, coffee grounds, etc on the heap. We have some type of squash plant growing in the middle of the pile. It has a multitude of blooms on it, but absolutely nothing edible. We have another type of plant, resembling a zucchini plant, growing in the compost.

Savannah just picked this ...thing... today, from the zucchini-imposter plant.

We didn't know what it might be, but it was about the size and color of some small seedless watermelons we saw at Walmart yesterday. We bought some watermelon earlier this year, and of course threw the leftovers on the compost pile. It's not watermelon. It has the taste of eggplant - very bland and basically tasteless, actually. It has the texture of waited-too-long-to-pick zucchini - kinda spongy. It has the shape of watermelon. It has seeds in the pattern of cantaloupe. It's too weird to eat. I think I'll name him...Bambi.

Then there's these guys.

They are actually IN the garden on plants that are SUPPOSED to be cucumbers!! The inside looks, tastes, smells and feels like cucumbers. Obviously, the outside is yellow-orange. They are planted near, but not overly close to, carrots, watermelon, peppers, cantaloupe and yellow squash.

My green thumb is actually blue, and needs resuscitation. Leave it to me to have mutant vegetables!!!


*~Tamara~* said...

I'm pretty sure those are the bad guys from Veggie Tales. You should let Phil know that his creations are on the loose and wreaking havoc in Ohio.

Deanna said...

Supposedly we have a shirt-tail relation that work with Big Ideas. Perhaps I shall hunt Chuck down and ask him to please come collect his ne-er-do-well cast-offs, lest he find his house dripping with rotten squacumbermelion.

Teresa said...

Cucolopes!!! Those are cucolopes, the rare, and not-so-tasty melding of cucumbers and cantelopes, seen only in gardens of the uninitiated! You have been chosen!!! Wait for the sign!!! Be prepared!!!

*~Tamara~* said...

Teresa! I think you're right! We must have a ceremony!

Oh, great Cucolope, how greatly we are blessed by thy presence here. Help us to learn of thy origins, and set our feet firmly on the path to the compost pile, lest we ignore thy bounty by forgetting to check for thy offspring amongst the sodden grass and broken eggshells. Blessed are we amongst gardeners, for thou has bestowed upon us thy great rarity. For this we are thankful, and shall sing thy praises amongst the blogs.


Deanna said...

Cud sum bahdee puhleeze pahss the biskits?