Seriously, She Should Pay Me!

My wonderful, darling husband laughs every time I put my hair up like this. He tells me I look like Sarah Palin. Apparently he feels the urge to irritate me. I'll be so glad when this election cycle is over, and my hair style is no longer being hijacked by the Republican National Committee. I sure enough didn't get any of that $150,000 for her makeover last month!!

Of Mouse and Me

It's no secret that my computer is dying. This relatively small mass of technology sitting in my house has been on it's last leg for several years. I might be on MY last leg from kicking the dumb thing! Today I've had to restart this confounded contraption at least 6 times. I've been quite unceremoniously booted from the Internet so often I've lost count. "You have performed an illegal operation..." Oh? Well handcuff me and send me to the clink! Does our country have a Technology Security Department that can arrest me and charge me with high treason? Oh, yeah I forgot. The Patriot Act made sure of that, with the creation of the Homeland Security Department, but never trust just ONE unneeded governmental office to do the job when two or seven or nineteen will suffice. But enough of the monologuing - this isn't about that subject...

I don't even pretend to convince myself, let alone any other human who lives in a developed nation, that I have the faintest notion on skillfully operating a computer. I readily admit that when it comes to being system savvy, I'm woefully inept. I don't often emit such atrocious words. I'm much better at bluffing than acknowledging that I have issues with which I'm not adequately prepared to deal. But ignorant I am, in this area. There. I've said it. I feel so much better about myself. Maybe I could start a 12 step program. "Hi, my name is Deanna, and I'm an idiot." I could fill a conference hall with personally handpicked attendees. Birds of a feather and all that... Just supply coffee, and nobody gets hurt...

But lest I have to take all the blame for my problem, just let me explain what I have to work with here. The device in question is the computer we purchased roughly 9 or so years ago, give or take a few months. It came fully loaded with Windows 98. (I have a brother-in-law who would scoff at that, and be able to point out myriad reasons why I should have never succumbed to that sales pitch. Again, not being properly equipped, I couldn't begin to argue with him. And granted, he does know his stuff, so I'll gracefully bow out of that debate, because I hate losing.)

Over the years, minor pieces have been replaced or added. I think that must be typical of computers, since I didn't have a problem locating the items when I needed them. I've successfully managed to install various programs. I often forget to uninstall the old programs, so naturally the system jams from overload. I'm bettin' there's a term for that, but in my bliss, I'm gonna ignore it.

A couple months ago, a friend from church took a look at the tower, he called it, and while normally this friend would have plenty to say, he basically just raised his eyebrows and informed me of the obvious - I need to update. Humph! Even I was starting to figure that one out. The monitor was showing some funky colors that aren't anywhere on the fashion wheel, so he sent me home with a 60 pound Gateway monitor to alleviate at least one problem. Wow! My kids' faces are flesh colored again in the pictures I have stored. They had been looking illishy green for long enough that I was considering calling the doctor.

On my list of things I really want, and actually need - a new computer with faster capabilities than the current model. I've been trying to browse through Shelly's homeschool stuff for quite some time, because she's WAY more organized than I am. It would be quite beneficial to my children's academia if I could utilize some of the information she provides. Nope - I think my computer's school philosophy is "If I can break it, why fix it?"

This thing is so outdated that it updated for Daylight Savings Time a week early!

Remember that last year DST extended into the first week of November? Oh come, come...you don't recall the government's further attempts to force you to become more energy efficient? (I'll note that the Honorable Ron Paul voted NO on that bill, thank you.) And speaking of ridiculous, I went into Walmart to buy light bulbs the other day - good ol' fashioned incandescents. I wanted 60 and 40 watts. Only I had to make the decision - do I want to go with the flow and conserve energy by purchasing the new 52 and 34 watt bulbs, because they no longer even HAVE the 60s and 40s available? No, I wanted bright light. So, I had to purchase the 75 watts, which isn't even 75 watts now - it's 67 watts! Am I saving energy? I don't think so! But wait, there's more - within a few years, they won't be available at all - because incandescents will be contraband. Geez, those government people are getting sneaky! If they can't cram mercury into our bodies through vaccines, maybe they can cram it into our homes with florescent light bulbs.

The fact that our government has outgrown it's britches has little to do with the fact that my computer is ailing, but given the fact that it's ME ranting right now, it should come as no surprise that the two subjects wind up marrying each other on this post. Too bad they won't have a happy honeymoon, as I'm about to go on a Gettin' Back to the Old Days rampage and shoot all technical devices in my house. Now where'd I put the BB gun?

The No Solicitation Rule In Our Town Isn't Just for THAT!

Dear EKG Construction Company Annoying Sirs:

Would you please quit sending your representatives to our door? Yes, we're aware that we need a new roof. We realize that you offer financing. I wonder how many more times we'll have to inform you that we simply can't afford your services. We were dumb enough to let the first guy give us an estimate. You were dumb enough to think we'd fall for the price tag. We didn't. We won't. In all honesty, we can't afford a new roof at the present time, no matter how cheaply you offer to perform the job. We've heard from reliable sources that perhaps that isn't an inaccurate description of the quality of work you provide. We don't intend to gain first hand knowledge.

I'd like to offer a bit of advice. For future reference on future victims clients, your sales personnel may experience slightly higher success rates if they bother to get dressed, eradicate the cigarette odor, and use Visine to mask the bloodshot eyes. But that's just a suggestion.

Fridays Are Test Days - In More Ways Than One

To clarify - my children are not responsible for these tests. A friend sent them to me.

To clarify - I would not put some similar nonsense past my children's minds.

To clarify - I think the big fat ZERO is hilarious!

Should I Get One?

Moi???


-----------------------------------

It's Not Just Church Signs I Hate

This was not a good day for someone to make a particular type of phone call to Deanna. Nope, not a good day.

She couldn't say I didn't warn her. We didn't get to the phone before the answering machine came on.

"We don't have much good to say about McCain or Obama. Leave a message, and we'll call you back, unless you work for one of those two clowns."

When I answered, she half-sheepishly said "I was going to ask you to help, but I doubt you're interested considering what your answering machine says."

Darn tootin', sister!!

But in the spirit of politeness, I asked her what was up. She wanted to know if I was interested in helping distribute "voter information" cards at church.

Forget the whole church-isn't-about-voting issues here...

When I asked her what candidates were listed on these cards, of course her reply was "Just McCain and Obama".

I firmly stated I wished to have nothing to do with McCain or Obama. Followed by "It's too bad people don't realize there's more than two candidates to vote for."

Do you know what she said? Sheepishly?

"Yes, but unfortunately one of these two will win the election."

No! Perish the thought!! I would have never guessed!!!

Do you think that maybe YOU might have something to do with that? If it's so unfortunate, whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy do you have a McCain sign in your yard? (No, I didn't say that. I thought about it, but I reserved it for here. If she happens to stumble upon my literary vomit, that's OK.)

It's also unfortunate that many of the "non-biased" voter information cards being put out by various groups are anything but. Skewed doesn't begin to describe! When Ron Paul was running for President, many of those groups either ignored him as the mainstream media did, or slanted their reviews to make it appear he wasn't pro-life because he was against a federal law banning abortion. In fact, what he advocates doing is to leave that issue up to each state, following the directives set forth in the Constitution. He also introduced a bill in Congress that would declare life to begin at conception, which would reverse Roe v. Wade upon signature. He was publicly endorsed by Norma McCorvey, a.k.a "Roe", who years after that case had a drastic change of heart. Ron Paul is more pro-life than all the other candidates put together! Any candidate who believes that "abortion for incest, rape, or life of the mother" is OK is NOT pro-life. It's never OK to take the life of an innocent baby. Any candidate who votes on legislation that appropriates monies to organizations like Planned Parenthood, however hard to decipher their mumbo-jumbo is, certainly isn't Pro-Life. (Title X, family planning, etc - it's in there.)

And while I won't bother to give a Constitution lesson tonight, any candidate who advocates for the highly un-Constitutional Iraq War isn't Pro-Life, either!

So no, it wasn't a good day to ask me to be political. I'm grumpy. And disgusted.

News From the Stupid Desk...

Only 25%??? Heck, that's not nearly enough. Let's make sure we abuse ALL our teenage girls! There's money to be made!

Anybody up for letting your government know what time you go to sleep? Not that it matters, as they'll do it if they darn well please.

And oh my gosh. What's more aggressive than staying in Iraq for 100 years?

Oh, good grief.

I Demand a Recount

I'm missing football so much I've considered calling Time Warner and having them come hook us up with the bare minimum.

But I can't stand all the LIES that are pushed over the airwaves.

I will be so glad when this election cycle is over!

Maybe then Americans will go back to Status: Undetermined, Questionable Origins instead of Status: Confirmed, Complete Idiot

Would ya'll put your heads back on your shoulders where they belong? They ain't lookin' too hot up your butts!





Darcy,
Please send the following memos:

Obama, would you please just break the suspense and tell everyone if you're the Anti-Christ?

McCain, please don't call me friend. You're no friend of mine.

Sarah, dear...I had the hair first. Please pay royalties.



AARRRGHH! I can't take it anymore...must move away...must move away...must move away...

And I Don't Hafta Go Right Now

Will I Trust Him?

I don't possess much of the virtue known as patience. I prefer to watch someone do something once, and try to fumble my own way through it, than sit down and read the instructions. Game rules drive me nuts. Assembly instructions get thrown across the room. And read a map? Ha! I'd rather get in the car, head south and hope to avoid Atlanta during rush hour, than sit and plan a route.

All these things, though, can be remedied with a little trial and error on my part. It helps my Patience Meter.

We are in a situation right now, however, that we literally have no control over. I can't model my efforts on what I observe around me. I can't throw a booklet when I'm frustrated. I just have to W.A.I.T.

And some days I think I'll bust open.

Today was the 6 month case plan review for Mister D. and Baby T. Circumstances have changed considerably since we got D. in April. What we thought was going to be a few weeks at most has turned into months, and gained us his infant sister shortly after her birth. Parents are not around. Family is showing no signs of wanting permanent custody. Each day, these precious babies settle deeper into their spot in my heart.

She has a dimple and gorgeous blue eyes. He has a cowlick and short little legs that run circles around everyone. She talks and yells at me every morning before I get her out of bed. He stands at his bedroom door knocking and calling for me. She likes to sit facing people so she can smile at them. He likes to eat the cookies I bake. She wants her blankie by her face. He wants Jo-Jo by his pillow. They are my babies. I am Mommy. But they aren't. And I'm not.

I have no control over this. But my God does. In my fear and impatience, I try my best to believe that. He does work all things for His good. He knows the plan.

The Blahgly Top 100 (Sung to the Tune of Casey Casum's Weekly Top 40)

I currently have 8 friends on MySpace. Of those, 5 are family members, 1 is my best friend from high school, 1 is the daughter of a college friend, and 1 is a family friend/friend of Bucky's.

Bucky has 100 friends on MySpace. I think he doesn't even personally know many of them. They're bands, friends of friends, and people he's probably spying on, interspersed with actual friends. He makes fun of me because I "don't have any friends". I tell him I'm going for quality, not quantity. He's a people person, a party animal, a social dragon, so he doesn't get it. That's OK.

He may have 100 friends, but I...I... have 100 posts...right here in my own little world.

And so, to honor that fact, I'm going to list 100 strange things that are somehow vaguely related to me. These strange things won't change the world, light up a room, or bring world peace, but they make me grin,(mostly??) and it's my blog, so I can say them.

1. I was born in Albion, Michigan.

2. Albion, Michigan has a park by the cemetery.

3. We used to drink water from a natural spring in the park.

4. Last I knew, the natural spring was fenced off from the public because it's contaminated.

5. Now I get water from a natural spring outside Fayette, Ohio.

6. It has a lot of iron in it.

7. I hate ironing.

8. I once melted one of my mother's headscarves trying to do her a ironing favor.

9. I think party favors at weddings are a waste of money, unless it's chocolate.

10. The best kind of chocolate is milk chocolate.

11. I would like to have a cow so I could have free, raw milk.

12. Raw implies nakedness.

13. On vacation with my dad once, I made him laugh by making a smart comment about the Naked Furniture store we drove past.

14. My dad accidentally spilled Aunt Janet out of her wheelchair while we were laughing about the Naked Furniture.

15. We were walking into Denny's for dinner.

16. That vacation involved too many Denny's.

17. I have a brother-in-law named Dennis.

18. Uncle Ernie used to call him Denny.

19. Uncle Ernie called everybody by their name, plus y.

20. In the church I grew up in, most everyone was related, except our family, and a couple others.

21. We still call everyone Aunt and Uncle.

22. I was in Houston when Uncle Marvin died.

23. He was our Song Leader, and my favorite Uncle.

24. His wife dyed her hair.

25. That was a big No No.

26. I dye my hair.

27. Gray is a big No No.

28. Long gray is an even bigger No No.

29. I went to a chiropractor a few years ago and he gave his opinion on women having long hair.

30. He was pompous.

31. He didn't help my headaches.

32. Now I go to a really nice chiropractor that lets us borrow his sailboat.

33. I don't have headaches anymore.

34. He recommends strange beers every once in a while.

35. Blue Moon is OK.

36. Corona is still tops.

37. Our grocery store has a singles aisle.

38. I'm married, but I tried it out anyway.

39. YOU really shouldn't think that way!

40. I bought 6 different kinds of beer.

41. So far, I've only liked 1. Shock Top. Liberty Ale was DEEEEEESGUSTING!!

42. I'd make a horrible alcoholic.

43. I'd also make a horrible junkie.

44. I got to experience a morphine drip when I had a car accident.

45. When I told someone that I thought my head was sitting on my pillow beside my body, the nurse told me I was getting high legally and to enjoy it.

46. I enjoy lots of things, but being out of control isn't one of them.

47. I would enjoy a nice vacation with Tom.

48. I'd like to go to Italy for our 25th anniversary.

49. We've been married for 17 years.

50. We met on a blind date.

51. He was the 3rd Tom I dated.

52. Tom number 1 was a loser. Loser. LOSER. (How do I make that L bigger??)

53. Tom number 2 was a mama's boy. Mama's Boy.

54. He was 20. He had a curfew. Next.

55. Obviously, the ol' 3rd times-a-charm is true in my case.

56. After our first date, I was so impressed that I asked him for a 2nd date the following night.

57. We went to a Carman concert with my sister Teresa and her husband (Denny), and my sister Tam and her friend Randy. (I only know of one person who calls Tom "Tommy". If Uncle Ernie was still alive, I'd know two.)

58. On the way home, Tom told me I could lean my head on his shoulder, if I didn't drool.

59. ???!!???!

60. Tam thought that was extremely comical.

61. Randy fell asleep and went in the ditch on his way home.

62. When Tam was a teenager, and before I was married, I was the chauffeur for her and her friends. (Usually Tim, Dawn and Randy. Sometimes Angie.)

62. I took them to a Carman concert once. (Different time - before Tom)

63. At this concert, I was standing between Randy and Tam during a song where Carman had everyone dancing with their arms around each other's shoulders.

64. Randy flung his arm around me, being funny. His hand landed...well, his hand landed.

65. Randy was 15. Randy was embarrassed. Randy's hand disappeared just as quickly as it landed.

66. I had to bite.my.tongue. and figure out an appropriate amount of time to remain calm before I could safely lean over and tell Tam, without embarrassing the kid so much that he walked the 55 miles back home. (I'm dying, here.)

67. Randy is now a chiropractor, married to Angie Carrie, in a town about 6 miles away.

68. We don't borrow his sailboat.

69. We went to a boat show about a month ago.

70. My favorite was listed at $364,000.

71. I'd take one for much less.

72. Neither Tom or I know how to swim, but that wouldn't stop us from going to live on the ocean.

73. There aren't many chances of running into stupid people out there.

74. There are no Walmarts in the middle of the Atlantic. Yet.

75. I hate Walmart on Saturday. Shoppers in Dirty Pajamas Day. Stinky.

76. I prefer to shop there on Sunday. Shoppers in Church Clothes Day. Fresh.

77. I wear jeans and hoodies to church alot. But they're clean.

78. I like this time of year, cause I can wear my hoodies all the time.

79. I only have 3. Red Ohio State, Pink Nasa and Purple plain. (Christmas is coming.)

80. I don't think I'll ever be a Red Hat lady.

81. I've pondered starting my own Anti-Red Hat Club.

82. One of these days, I might get smacked down if I insult the wrong person.

83. I don't generally try to insult.

84. I just don't always care that what I say is offensive, since that's subjective anyway.

85. I've been removed from blog rolls. I think this
was just too much for some people.

86. It made me laugh. And ponder a post about Tidy Christians. I haven't gone there yet.

87. There's little that's tidy in my life. I actually hate that word.

88. Tidy implies boring.

89. I'm actually content to be a homebody most of the time, but I don't feel bored.

90. I don't feel the need to have Girls Night Out. Gag!

91. That term creates 2 pictures in my brain.

92. Drunk women acting stupid at a bar, and sober women sitting around talking about coupons, cooking and submitting to their husbands.

93. I think I'd need to go out with the drunk women to be able to tolerate the sobers.

94. I do use coupons and cook. And last I checked, Tom still wears the pants in this family. I'm happy to let him have that responsibility.

95. Growing up, women wearing pants was a No No.

96. Growing up, I had a dog named So So.

97. I also had a dog named Pete.

98. His mama was named Sugar.

99. I used to put sugar in my coffee.

100. Now I'm man enough to drink it non-sugared. (Who needs sugar when you put half a cup of French Vanilla creamer in it?)

101. I'm not too good at that countin' thing yet. Which explains why I'm posting this now, instead of 3 posts from now. (That, and just 'cause I can.)

Oh, time for me to shut up and sit down? Well, so there you have it. My life story in 100 easy bullet points. Which reminds me, I need to check into gettin' some shootin' apparatuses for deer-killin'. We had venison steak today, and it was quite yummy. I'm thinkin' 'bout givin' 'ol Annie Oakley a run fer her money. Or inviting Ted Nugent to my ranch.

This Ain't Your Mama's Aspirin

I love this guy!

I recently read that 90% of children who go to see a psychiatrist walk out, after their first visit, with a prescription, generally for Ritalin or something similar.

America, land of the drugged. That War on Drugs idea worked pretty good, didn't it?

Bits of Odd Ends

First, I would just like to say that although I did not vote for Congressman Bob Latta, I find myself today sorta liking the guy for actually representing his constituents properly. He voted NO on the Exceptionally Egregious Shysters Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008. (If only his coworkers would have accommodated the wishes of the larger American sector.)

It would take a bit more than that to make me consider voting for him in the future, but at least today he didn't dip his fingers into my precariously positioned bank accounts. For that, he got another phone call, this time saying "Thanks!". His office staff was wonderfully pleasant.

Mr. Latta, when you come around these parts, perhaps we can schedule a visit to discuss other concerns I have with our country. I'd like to start with Congress' apparent broken promise to adhere to the Constitution. I also have a message you could deliver to President Bush, Mr. Bernanke, Mr. Paulson,...pretty much everyone in Washington... "You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Turning now to other not-so-political news -

Tom was a little upset that Steve Fossett's plane was found. He was really wishing that the guy had decided to skip the country, for reasons known only to himself, and simply vanished into thin air. I think it was a rather romantic notion, actually. I doubt the man's widow would agree.

It's official - at 2.5 years old, little Mister D. has officially started the "Why???" stage. Three days into it, it's officially driving me nuts. "Because I'm the Mom, and I SAID SO!!!! Now go to the corner!" He has also become quiet proficient at tattling and lying!! Lying to get other people into trouble! I simply can't believe some of the stuff this child concocts! Two days ago, he was sitting at the table eating breakfast. The older kids weren't up yet. He started whining, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said "Uh, Buh...Qwes pu me." Translated? "Uh, Bucky...(pause to reconsider which older brother to blame this time)...Preston pushed me."

He shares a room with Bucky, so he hadn't even seen Preston yet!

The following morning, he was knocking on the bedroom door for me to come get him. He can't turn the knob by himself - a small miracle for which I offer daily thanks. I didn't scoot right up the stairs to collect his hungry little body, so naturally he started bellerin'. By the time I got to him, he was in full panic wail, tears just running off his little cheeks. (He cries actual real crocodile tears when he's fake crying!) Upon opening the door and being prepared to attack the monster threatening him, I asked him what was wrong. "Buh...(sob)..pu...(heart-breaking deep breath sucked in)...me!...(wail)..." Of course, I growled at Bucky. "Did you push him??!?" Bucky, not even out of bed, muttered, "I told him to shut up." The kid blames his poop on the dog, his farts on Gabe's home health aide, he knocks his head into the wall when he gets sent to the corner so it looks like I pushed him...I guess I just can't trust him! But he's so darn cute!

Christmas is coming - what are you doing this year? Does your church or school group collect Christmas shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child? If not, it's not real time-consuming to coordinate the project. If you want to participate but not coordinate, you can find drop-off points near you on the website, and just take your own filled shoeboxes to one of those locations.

Speaking of Christmas, I don't usually say much about what I'd like. But this year, I've stated my desire for one of these. Oh, how I'd love to have one of these! This is a Cuisinart Coffee Grinder/Brewer. Mmmmmmm.


I do not need one of these, but I would looooooove to have one of these. I also would like to have a Mother's ring. I have been asking for a Mother's ring for quite some time now. The challenge is this: I currently have 4 children I get to keep and 2 I'm certainly hoping I can keep, but that isn't up to me. I also am not opposed to getting more children for keeps. See the problem?



It's October 3rd. We have an unwritten kinda rule/guideline in our home that we don't turn the furnace on until November 1st, and we turn it off May 1st or sooner. It's been pretty dang cold the last few nights, and right now my hands are a little chilled. We have babies in the house now. We just might have to break our rule. The kids will be happy. But first I have to buy some new slippers. Mine are shot!

Monday we have a 6 month caseplan review for D... - Time flies.

And because it does, I'm going to bed.

Tune in next time.

Politicians Smell Like Bile

Dear Senators Brown and Voinovich:

Pardon me while I clean the puke off my walls as I'm typing. You don't mind, do you?
I mean, since it's your fault I'm puking, and all, I didn't think you'd mind my multitasking. Maybe you could help, since it is your fault, you know. I realize, Senator Voinovich, that your heart is heavy, and it may put undue stress on your physical body if you perform manual labor, so never mind. I wouldn't want to impose.

I called both of you today. You were apparently otherwise occupied and couldn't step to the phone, so I left a brief message with your friendly office staff. They sounded weary. I'm guessing they'd been working hard for hours. I had to wait nearly 15 minutes to actually hear them speak. The music you chose to play for me while I was on hold was a little boring, but then, I couldn't hear it real well anyway, because my six children were all nearby playing and doing their school work.

Speaking of children, did I mention I have six? You might not realize this, but it's difficult to keep food on the table with that many children in the house. Three of my children are teenage boys. Have you priced groceries recently? Our grocery bill is sometimes double our house payment. And speaking of house payments, we make ours monthly. Faithfully. Like clockwork. Every month, we stick a check in the mail to our mortgage company. They've promised we'll be done with their program in 25.5 years. So I just have to ask you? Why do we get penalized when other people don't make their payments like we do? If I don't have enough money to buy milk tomorrow, do you mind if I come to your house and empty your fridge? 'Cause my kids are hungry.

Just as a little side note, because I'm curious and nosy by nature...how does the Current Economic Crisis Situation translate
into offering tax credits for cars you plug in? My van is 14 years old, and doesn't have electrical outlets. Can I just wrap an extension cord around it and get that credit? And how can you have a solar and wind industry tax credit? Does that mean God gets a refund next year? And why do certain rural schools need extra help because of this Economic Crisis? Oh, and please tell Senator McConnell, of Kentucky, that we all prefer he uses his own money to bet on horses, 'cause we really didn't want him using ours. I suggest you have dinner with Ron Paul if you don't understand why. (He'll pay for his own, thank you. He doesn't expect his bosses to pick up the tab.)

Maybe I wasn't clear on the phone this morning. I thought I was, but maybe you mistook something I said. Since I am your boss, I would surmise that you'd listen a little more closely, but perhaps your hearing is going bad. What I told your staff to relay to you was that I wanted you to vote NO on this Big Scam that President Bush is shoving down your throat. But you didn't listen to me. I don't think I need to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I don't think you're deaf. I think you're stupid, though. If you try real hard, maybe you can convince your psychiatrists that you have a mental health problem. I'm told this new bill you just voted for has an excellent way to fix those kinds of things. Oh, forget the trying hard part - unless your shrink is a politician, he'll see right through you. The rest of us do.

And I'm sorry, but I believe it's in our mutual best interest if you no longer work for me. So I'm going to have to fire you. After today, if we're lucky, my fellow Americans will fire their employees for being stupid, as well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go calculate if my checkbook will ever recover from your fiasco, and then I'll resume picking off chunks of Chicken Alfredo from my woodwork. Do you know what that stuff smells like, recycled?

Sincerely,
One Very Ticked Off Mom Who Will Never Vote For You Until You Have A Lobotomy And Come Back Human!!!!!