All Joking Aside...

It's hard to take you seriously, Mr. Bush. But way to go with attempting to convince us you care, promising even more government money to fix a government-created problem and all. Spot on, sir.

Tom - "Nothing good comes when the government intervenes. I'm not voting for anyone ever again, unless he stands up and says 'I ain't doin' nuttin. Nada. Zilch'..."

It's hard to take you seriously, Mr. Bloomberg. But way to go with blaming people who obviously handle footballs better than guns with the deaths of children in the streets. Nice job, sir.

Seriously, Plaxico...perhaps just a wee bit more time at the gun range? Or a little less to drink when fidgeting with deadly objects. But I love the seemingly calm reaction reported by a witness..."Take me to the hospital"...Classy, sir.

I seriously doubt that having crowd control training would have stopped this morbid display of human depravity from occurring. People! Read Luke Chapter 2 - that's what it's all about, folks! Jesus didn't grow up playing Xbox 360 Guitar Hero Legends of Rock on a 42" Hi-Def TV Set bought at Walmart at 6:17 AM on Black Friday. Your kids will survive!

And now on to other topics...

Noon. This Saturday. ABC. Be There!

I told you I was thinking about it. I did it. I waited until after the obnoxious lying political ads ceased, and I made the call.



I kindly explained that I wanted the cheapest, most basic of packages available. For a mere measly 15 bucks a month, we now have Time Warner Cable. Gabe can now enjoy quality commercials like Party in My Tummy and other motivationally-intended nonsense.



Savannah has been a bit under the weather over the past few days, so the Cable Guy showed up just in time to keep her mind from being completely bored out of it's skull while she convalesces.




We all know why the cable was really installed!




Never let it be said that people in this family can't multi-task while watching the Buckeyes!




Yes, Gabe - as a matter of fact, we DID kick Illinois' butt!




Ah, Uncle Jim! So good to see you again, even with the black smudge across the screen. I've missed you!




We teach our children at home. The important stuff, naturally!




Straight home from work, pick up the baby, plunk onto a chair - no rabbit ears required. Maybe now the neighbors can return to their delusions that we're normal.

Probably not - one of Bucky's friends told us last weekend that his mother had said to him earlier in the week..."You should tell them to take down that Ron Paul stuff from their yard."



"No, they won't. It's their revolt against the election results."

She still let him spend the weekend with us, though.

And for a fitting ending...




Bring.It.On.





(sports images courtesy of google images)

I Demand a Recount

I'm missing football so much I've considered calling Time Warner and having them come hook us up with the bare minimum.

But I can't stand all the LIES that are pushed over the airwaves.

I will be so glad when this election cycle is over!

Maybe then Americans will go back to Status: Undetermined, Questionable Origins instead of Status: Confirmed, Complete Idiot

Would ya'll put your heads back on your shoulders where they belong? They ain't lookin' too hot up your butts!





Darcy,
Please send the following memos:

Obama, would you please just break the suspense and tell everyone if you're the Anti-Christ?

McCain, please don't call me friend. You're no friend of mine.

Sarah, dear...I had the hair first. Please pay royalties.



AARRRGHH! I can't take it anymore...must move away...must move away...must move away...

I Miss Brutus

This is the time of year when I find myself having to exhibit more self-control that I really care to.

Fall is my favorite season. I love the smell in the air, the colors on the trees, the coolness of the mornings and the warmth of the late afternoon sun.

My love of baking always kicks into high gear during the fall season. There's so many tasty things you can bake with apples, cinnamon, pumpkin, zucchini, and chocolate!



Something else that returns is football season. Sigh. I love football. I understand football. Two years ago, I could tell you nearly anything you wanted to know about Troy Smith and his Buckeye teammates. I watched the Draft, for Pete's sake! I was furious that Troy was a 5th round pick! I love the Colts. I love the Packers. (well, the whole Brett Favre thing was a little dramatic even for me, but still...)

I didn't grow up watching football. Actually I didn't grow up watching anything, because we didn't have a television when I was a child. I don't mean we didn't have an antenna on our home. I mean, we did not own a television set. Television was the enemy. Anyone in our circle of influence - private Christian school and conservative church - who had a TV was accused of heading down the slippery slope at best, and shunned by the ultra-conservatives of the pack at worst.

The first experience with football that I recall was when I was about 12 or 13. My parents were divorcing, my mom was working full time, and it was Thanksgiving. My older sister and her husband were going to spend the holiday with his parents, so they took my little sister and I along for the weekend. We packed up my brother-in-law's little diesel Rabbit, crammed the four of us in tightly, and off we went to Cincinnati.

We spent Thanksgiving day at Grandma Bea's home, perched on a steep hill in some holler in southern Ohio. I barely remember what the house looked like, but it seems like it was small, and the living room where the TV was located was dark paneling and slightly claustrophobic. The meal was superb. It was the first time I'd ever had dumplings with Thanksgiving dinner. I thought that was weird, but it tasted good!

Grandma Bea was married to a man named Forrest. Forrest and my brother-in-law watched football on a small TV set with a grainy picture. It might have even been black and white. I sat and watched with them, mostly out of boredom, but it planted a seed. 4 hours away, unbeknownst to me, my future husband was probably doing the same thing. His family had only recently become football fans also, due to he and his siblings having the mumps and being unable to leave home for a while, yet needing entertainment. Little did we know at that age!

Fast forward almost 30 years. I now have 6 children in my home. Where in the world would I find the time to watch football? We're always playing catch-up with something, but we're never finished. I'm not the type of person who can turn on the TV and keep it playing in the background while I do other chores. If I'm watching a show, I don't want to miss one word. If I'm watching a game, how can I effectively cheer or scream about a bad play if the game doesn't have my full attention?

I know myself. If we had our television hooked up, or had our DISH reinstalled, I would sit down on Saturday at noon, and wouldn't get back up until time to go to bed Monday night. I would waste Thursday evening in the same fashion. I would create high blood pressure for myself, and I would embarrass my children when their friends are over because I would be screaming at the television. I would traumatize my 2 year old, and terrorize my baby by coaching from the couch.

I've mentioned before what lengths we have to go to, to be able to watch the Michigan/Ohio State game. We can't miss that! And our church usually has a Superbowl party, so we're safe there.But for the remainder of the season, I just have to pretend like I'm all feminine and ladylike and cultured enough to simply be appalled that grown men beat themselves up like that. (I won't even begin to discuss my fetish with professional wrestling!)

So we don't have TV. Oh, we have TVs in our home. Probably 5 or 6. Some are in closets. Some are in the kids rooms with VCRs. But we don't have outside influence. It isn't good for my health. And it's the only way I get anything done from September to February.

Ron Paul, Please Come to Ohio and Watch the Buckeyes with Us

A sign that perhaps my kids actually do hear me when they’re pretending to ignore me: the other night, Tom was watching the Ohio State game.
Ok, before I go any further, I must tell you about HOW Tom watches the game.

We recently decided that paying for satellite TV is not only not in the budget, but that it offers so many choices, most of them meaningless, of shows to watch that we would do away with it altogether. (Perhaps a temporary decision, but that remains to be seen.) Regardless of the permanency of the viewing options, football remains a sport that we all love to watch, particularly when it comes to the Buckeyes. With the exception of Preston, who adamantly remains a loyal Wolverines fan, our entire family is quite supportive of OSU football.
Ok, again before I go any further: Mom is a little more than supportive - Mom is sometimes a raging fanatic who screams at the television to the point of embarrassing the kids when there isn’t even any one not related to us in the house. “Mom, give it a rest, would you?!?” But I digress...

Anyway, after borrowing a ladder from the nice neighbors, Tom and the boys disassembled the necessary components and returned them to the service provider. We were all a little sad to see the TV screen go to static, but as soon as I had the cords properly reconnected between the DVD/VCR players and the back of the television, we at least had a wonderful shade of blue nothingness to look at when Lightning McQueen finished the final round of the race by pushing The King across the finish line to the roar of the sold-out stadium.

So now, we were left to our own devices (the church I grew up in would probably consider it a vice, as opposed to a device, but again I digress so I’ll save that post for another day) when it came time to figuring out how we would survive without cheering on our favorite team, led by gray-haired Jim Tressel who reminds me of my own red-haired Uncle Jim. Tom attempted to repair the outside antenna, but considering his disability in scaling buildings sans Spiderman-like capabilities, combined with his dislike of ladders at heights greater than his own height, he was quite limited in what he could actually accomplish from ground level.

To compensate, my ingenious husband did the following: placed the 9 inch TV on a kitchen chair near a window; connected a cable to the TV and pushed the other end of this cable through a small opening by the window frame; attached the outdoor end of the cable to indoor rabbit ears located on the porch; climbed on a step ladder perched on the wheelchair lift and hoisted the rabbit ears into the eave spout; taped the rabbit ears firmly in place; yelled for Mom to watch the screen, relay information to Bucky, Bucky to stand by the door and yell the relayed information to Dad; yelled “better?” dozens of times as he fidgeted with the rabbit ears until Mom relayed to Bucky to yell to Dad that it was good; strolled back inside with a satisfied grin on his face and promptly sat down to enjoy a stirring, if slightly fuzzy but victorious, sporting event.

But as for the idea that my kids ingest and retain information I freely spout, again I say this may be a reality. My reasoning behind this theory is this: while Tom was watching the football game last weekend, Savannah and I were sitting on the couch with him. During a commercial break, one of the advertisements that aired was a political ad for Steve Buehrer, who is campaigning to become the next U.S. Representative for the 5th Congressional District of Ohio. The statements being made were about lowering taxes, but no names had been mentioned. Savannah pipes up and says "Ron Paul!"

Maybe next week she’ll be toting signs around town with the words "Hope for America, Hope for My Generation" emblazoned in bright blue and red.