I'm missing football so much I've considered calling Time Warner and having them come hook us up with the bare minimum.
But I can't stand all the LIES that are pushed over the airwaves.
I will be so glad when this election cycle is over!
Maybe then Americans will go back to Status: Undetermined, Questionable Origins instead of Status: Confirmed, Complete Idiot
Would ya'll put your heads back on your shoulders where they belong? They ain't lookin' too hot up your butts!
Darcy,
Please send the following memos:
Obama, would you please just break the suspense and tell everyone if you're the Anti-Christ?
McCain, please don't call me friend. You're no friend of mine.
Sarah, dear...I had the hair first. Please pay royalties.
AARRRGHH! I can't take it anymore...must move away...must move away...must move away...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Will I Trust Him?
I don't possess much of the virtue known as patience. I prefer to watch someone do something once, and try to fumble my own way through it, than sit down and read the instructions. Game rules drive me nuts. Assembly instructions get thrown across the room. And read a map? Ha! I'd rather get in the car, head south and hope to avoid Atlanta during rush hour, than sit and plan a route.
All these things, though, can be remedied with a little trial and error on my part. It helps my Patience Meter.
We are in a situation right now, however, that we literally have no control over. I can't model my efforts on what I observe around me. I can't throw a booklet when I'm frustrated. I just have to W.A.I.T.
And some days I think I'll bust open.
Today was the 6 month case plan review for Mister D. and Baby T. Circumstances have changed considerably since we got D. in April. What we thought was going to be a few weeks at most has turned into months, and gained us his infant sister shortly after her birth. Parents are not around. Family is showing no signs of wanting permanent custody. Each day, these precious babies settle deeper into their spot in my heart.
She has a dimple and gorgeous blue eyes. He has a cowlick and short little legs that run circles around everyone. She talks and yells at me every morning before I get her out of bed. He stands at his bedroom door knocking and calling for me. She likes to sit facing people so she can smile at them. He likes to eat the cookies I bake. She wants her blankie by her face. He wants Jo-Jo by his pillow. They are my babies. I am Mommy. But they aren't. And I'm not.
I have no control over this. But my God does. In my fear and impatience, I try my best to believe that. He does work all things for His good. He knows the plan.
All these things, though, can be remedied with a little trial and error on my part. It helps my Patience Meter.
We are in a situation right now, however, that we literally have no control over. I can't model my efforts on what I observe around me. I can't throw a booklet when I'm frustrated. I just have to W.A.I.T.
And some days I think I'll bust open.
Today was the 6 month case plan review for Mister D. and Baby T. Circumstances have changed considerably since we got D. in April. What we thought was going to be a few weeks at most has turned into months, and gained us his infant sister shortly after her birth. Parents are not around. Family is showing no signs of wanting permanent custody. Each day, these precious babies settle deeper into their spot in my heart.
She has a dimple and gorgeous blue eyes. He has a cowlick and short little legs that run circles around everyone. She talks and yells at me every morning before I get her out of bed. He stands at his bedroom door knocking and calling for me. She likes to sit facing people so she can smile at them. He likes to eat the cookies I bake. She wants her blankie by her face. He wants Jo-Jo by his pillow. They are my babies. I am Mommy. But they aren't. And I'm not.
I have no control over this. But my God does. In my fear and impatience, I try my best to believe that. He does work all things for His good. He knows the plan.
The Blahgly Top 100 (Sung to the Tune of Casey Casum's Weekly Top 40)
I currently have 8 friends on MySpace. Of those, 5 are family members, 1 is my best friend from high school, 1 is the daughter of a college friend, and 1 is a family friend/friend of Bucky's.
Bucky has 100 friends on MySpace. I think he doesn't even personally know many of them. They're bands, friends of friends, and people he's probably spying on, interspersed with actual friends. He makes fun of me because I "don't have any friends". I tell him I'm going for quality, not quantity. He's a people person, a party animal, a social dragon, so he doesn't get it. That's OK.
He may have 100 friends, but I...I... have 100 posts...right here in my own little world.
And so, to honor that fact, I'm going to list 100 strange things that are somehow vaguely related to me. These strange things won't change the world, light up a room, or bring world peace, but they make me grin,(mostly??) and it's my blog, so I can say them.
1. I was born in Albion, Michigan.
2. Albion, Michigan has a park by the cemetery.
3. We used to drink water from a natural spring in the park.
4. Last I knew, the natural spring was fenced off from the public because it's contaminated.
5. Now I get water from a natural spring outside Fayette, Ohio.
6. It has a lot of iron in it.
7. I hate ironing.
8. I once melted one of my mother's headscarves trying to do her a ironing favor.
9. I think party favors at weddings are a waste of money, unless it's chocolate.
10. The best kind of chocolate is milk chocolate.
11. I would like to have a cow so I could have free, raw milk.
12. Raw implies nakedness.
13. On vacation with my dad once, I made him laugh by making a smart comment about the Naked Furniture store we drove past.
14. My dad accidentally spilled Aunt Janet out of her wheelchair while we were laughing about the Naked Furniture.
15. We were walking into Denny's for dinner.
16. That vacation involved too many Denny's.
17. I have a brother-in-law named Dennis.
18. Uncle Ernie used to call him Denny.
19. Uncle Ernie called everybody by their name, plus y.
20. In the church I grew up in, most everyone was related, except our family, and a couple others.
21. We still call everyone Aunt and Uncle.
22. I was in Houston when Uncle Marvin died.
23. He was our Song Leader, and my favorite Uncle.
24. His wife dyed her hair.
25. That was a big No No.
26. I dye my hair.
27. Gray is a big No No.
28. Long gray is an even bigger No No.
29. I went to a chiropractor a few years ago and he gave his opinion on women having long hair.
30. He was pompous.
31. He didn't help my headaches.
32. Now I go to a really nice chiropractor that lets us borrow his sailboat.
33. I don't have headaches anymore.
34. He recommends strange beers every once in a while.
35. Blue Moon is OK.
36. Corona is still tops.
37. Our grocery store has a singles aisle.
38. I'm married, but I tried it out anyway.
39. YOU really shouldn't think that way!
40. I bought 6 different kinds of beer.
41. So far, I've only liked 1. Shock Top. Liberty Ale was DEEEEEESGUSTING!!
42. I'd make a horrible alcoholic.
43. I'd also make a horrible junkie.
44. I got to experience a morphine drip when I had a car accident.
45. When I told someone that I thought my head was sitting on my pillow beside my body, the nurse told me I was getting high legally and to enjoy it.
46. I enjoy lots of things, but being out of control isn't one of them.
47. I would enjoy a nice vacation with Tom.
48. I'd like to go to Italy for our 25th anniversary.
49. We've been married for 17 years.
50. We met on a blind date.
51. He was the 3rd Tom I dated.
52. Tom number 1 was a loser. Loser. LOSER. (How do I make that L bigger??)
53. Tom number 2 was a mama's boy. Mama's Boy.
54. He was 20. He had a curfew. Next.
55. Obviously, the ol' 3rd times-a-charm is true in my case.
56. After our first date, I was so impressed that I asked him for a 2nd date the following night.
57. We went to a Carman concert with my sister Teresa and her husband (Denny), and my sister Tam and her friend Randy. (I only know of one person who calls Tom "Tommy". If Uncle Ernie was still alive, I'd know two.)
58. On the way home, Tom told me I could lean my head on his shoulder, if I didn't drool.
59. ???!!???!
60. Tam thought that was extremely comical.
61. Randy fell asleep and went in the ditch on his way home.
62. When Tam was a teenager, and before I was married, I was the chauffeur for her and her friends. (Usually Tim, Dawn and Randy. Sometimes Angie.)
62. I took them to a Carman concert once. (Different time - before Tom)
63. At this concert, I was standing between Randy and Tam during a song where Carman had everyone dancing with their arms around each other's shoulders.
64. Randy flung his arm around me, being funny. His hand landed...well, his hand landed.
65. Randy was 15. Randy was embarrassed. Randy's hand disappeared just as quickly as it landed.
66. I had to bite.my.tongue. and figure out an appropriate amount of time to remain calm before I could safely lean over and tell Tam, without embarrassing the kid so much that he walked the 55 miles back home. (I'm dying, here.)
67. Randy is now a chiropractor, married toAngie Carrie, in a town about 6 miles away.
68. We don't borrow his sailboat.
69. We went to a boat show about a month ago.
70. My favorite was listed at $364,000.
71. I'd take one for much less.
72. Neither Tom or I know how to swim, but that wouldn't stop us from going to live on the ocean.
73. There aren't many chances of running into stupid people out there.
74. There are no Walmarts in the middle of the Atlantic. Yet.
75. I hate Walmart on Saturday. Shoppers in Dirty Pajamas Day. Stinky.
76. I prefer to shop there on Sunday. Shoppers in Church Clothes Day. Fresh.
77. I wear jeans and hoodies to church alot. But they're clean.
78. I like this time of year, cause I can wear my hoodies all the time.
79. I only have 3. Red Ohio State, Pink Nasa and Purple plain. (Christmas is coming.)
80. I don't think I'll ever be a Red Hat lady.
81. I've pondered starting my own Anti-Red Hat Club.
82. One of these days, I might get smacked down if I insult the wrong person.
83. I don't generally try to insult.
84. I just don't always care that what I say is offensive, since that's subjective anyway.
85. I've been removed from blog rolls. I think this
was just too much for some people.
86. It made me laugh. And ponder a post about Tidy Christians. I haven't gone there yet.
87. There's little that's tidy in my life. I actually hate that word.
88. Tidy implies boring.
89. I'm actually content to be a homebody most of the time, but I don't feel bored.
90. I don't feel the need to have Girls Night Out. Gag!
91. That term creates 2 pictures in my brain.
92. Drunk women acting stupid at a bar, and sober women sitting around talking about coupons, cooking and submitting to their husbands.
93. I think I'd need to go out with the drunk women to be able to tolerate the sobers.
94. I do use coupons and cook. And last I checked, Tom still wears the pants in this family. I'm happy to let him have that responsibility.
95. Growing up, women wearing pants was a No No.
96. Growing up, I had a dog named So So.
97. I also had a dog named Pete.
98. His mama was named Sugar.
99. I used to put sugar in my coffee.
100. Now I'm man enough to drink it non-sugared. (Who needs sugar when you put half a cup of French Vanilla creamer in it?)
101. I'm not too good at that countin' thing yet. Which explains why I'm posting this now, instead of 3 posts from now. (That, and just 'cause I can.)
Oh, time for me to shut up and sit down? Well, so there you have it. My life story in 100 easy bullet points. Which reminds me, I need to check into gettin' some shootin' apparatuses for deer-killin'. We had venison steak today, and it was quite yummy. I'm thinkin' 'bout givin' 'ol Annie Oakley a run fer her money. Or inviting Ted Nugent to my ranch.
Bucky has 100 friends on MySpace. I think he doesn't even personally know many of them. They're bands, friends of friends, and people he's probably spying on, interspersed with actual friends. He makes fun of me because I "don't have any friends". I tell him I'm going for quality, not quantity. He's a people person, a party animal, a social dragon, so he doesn't get it. That's OK.
He may have 100 friends, but I...I... have 100 posts...right here in my own little world.
And so, to honor that fact, I'm going to list 100 strange things that are somehow vaguely related to me. These strange things won't change the world, light up a room, or bring world peace, but they make me grin,(mostly??) and it's my blog, so I can say them.
1. I was born in Albion, Michigan.
2. Albion, Michigan has a park by the cemetery.
3. We used to drink water from a natural spring in the park.
4. Last I knew, the natural spring was fenced off from the public because it's contaminated.
5. Now I get water from a natural spring outside Fayette, Ohio.
6. It has a lot of iron in it.
7. I hate ironing.
8. I once melted one of my mother's headscarves trying to do her a ironing favor.
9. I think party favors at weddings are a waste of money, unless it's chocolate.
10. The best kind of chocolate is milk chocolate.
11. I would like to have a cow so I could have free, raw milk.
12. Raw implies nakedness.
13. On vacation with my dad once, I made him laugh by making a smart comment about the Naked Furniture store we drove past.
14. My dad accidentally spilled Aunt Janet out of her wheelchair while we were laughing about the Naked Furniture.
15. We were walking into Denny's for dinner.
16. That vacation involved too many Denny's.
17. I have a brother-in-law named Dennis.
18. Uncle Ernie used to call him Denny.
19. Uncle Ernie called everybody by their name, plus y.
20. In the church I grew up in, most everyone was related, except our family, and a couple others.
21. We still call everyone Aunt and Uncle.
22. I was in Houston when Uncle Marvin died.
23. He was our Song Leader, and my favorite Uncle.
24. His wife dyed her hair.
25. That was a big No No.
26. I dye my hair.
27. Gray is a big No No.
28. Long gray is an even bigger No No.
29. I went to a chiropractor a few years ago and he gave his opinion on women having long hair.
30. He was pompous.
31. He didn't help my headaches.
32. Now I go to a really nice chiropractor that lets us borrow his sailboat.
33. I don't have headaches anymore.
34. He recommends strange beers every once in a while.
35. Blue Moon is OK.
36. Corona is still tops.
37. Our grocery store has a singles aisle.
38. I'm married, but I tried it out anyway.
39. YOU really shouldn't think that way!
40. I bought 6 different kinds of beer.
41. So far, I've only liked 1. Shock Top. Liberty Ale was DEEEEEESGUSTING!!
42. I'd make a horrible alcoholic.
43. I'd also make a horrible junkie.
44. I got to experience a morphine drip when I had a car accident.
45. When I told someone that I thought my head was sitting on my pillow beside my body, the nurse told me I was getting high legally and to enjoy it.
46. I enjoy lots of things, but being out of control isn't one of them.
47. I would enjoy a nice vacation with Tom.
48. I'd like to go to Italy for our 25th anniversary.
49. We've been married for 17 years.
50. We met on a blind date.
51. He was the 3rd Tom I dated.
52. Tom number 1 was a loser. Loser. LOSER. (How do I make that L bigger??)
53. Tom number 2 was a mama's boy. Mama's Boy.
54. He was 20. He had a curfew. Next.
55. Obviously, the ol' 3rd times-a-charm is true in my case.
56. After our first date, I was so impressed that I asked him for a 2nd date the following night.
57. We went to a Carman concert with my sister Teresa and her husband (Denny), and my sister Tam and her friend Randy. (I only know of one person who calls Tom "Tommy". If Uncle Ernie was still alive, I'd know two.)
58. On the way home, Tom told me I could lean my head on his shoulder, if I didn't drool.
59. ???!!???!
60. Tam thought that was extremely comical.
61. Randy fell asleep and went in the ditch on his way home.
62. When Tam was a teenager, and before I was married, I was the chauffeur for her and her friends. (Usually Tim, Dawn and Randy. Sometimes Angie.)
62. I took them to a Carman concert once. (Different time - before Tom)
63. At this concert, I was standing between Randy and Tam during a song where Carman had everyone dancing with their arms around each other's shoulders.
64. Randy flung his arm around me, being funny. His hand landed...well, his hand landed.
65. Randy was 15. Randy was embarrassed. Randy's hand disappeared just as quickly as it landed.
66. I had to bite.my.tongue. and figure out an appropriate amount of time to remain calm before I could safely lean over and tell Tam, without embarrassing the kid so much that he walked the 55 miles back home. (I'm dying, here.)
67. Randy is now a chiropractor, married to
68. We don't borrow his sailboat.
69. We went to a boat show about a month ago.
70. My favorite was listed at $364,000.
71. I'd take one for much less.
72. Neither Tom or I know how to swim, but that wouldn't stop us from going to live on the ocean.
73. There aren't many chances of running into stupid people out there.
74. There are no Walmarts in the middle of the Atlantic. Yet.
75. I hate Walmart on Saturday. Shoppers in Dirty Pajamas Day. Stinky.
76. I prefer to shop there on Sunday. Shoppers in Church Clothes Day. Fresh.
77. I wear jeans and hoodies to church alot. But they're clean.
78. I like this time of year, cause I can wear my hoodies all the time.
79. I only have 3. Red Ohio State, Pink Nasa and Purple plain. (Christmas is coming.)
80. I don't think I'll ever be a Red Hat lady.
81. I've pondered starting my own Anti-Red Hat Club.
82. One of these days, I might get smacked down if I insult the wrong person.
83. I don't generally try to insult.
84. I just don't always care that what I say is offensive, since that's subjective anyway.
85. I've been removed from blog rolls. I think this
was just too much for some people.
86. It made me laugh. And ponder a post about Tidy Christians. I haven't gone there yet.
87. There's little that's tidy in my life. I actually hate that word.
88. Tidy implies boring.
89. I'm actually content to be a homebody most of the time, but I don't feel bored.
90. I don't feel the need to have Girls Night Out. Gag!
91. That term creates 2 pictures in my brain.
92. Drunk women acting stupid at a bar, and sober women sitting around talking about coupons, cooking and submitting to their husbands.
93. I think I'd need to go out with the drunk women to be able to tolerate the sobers.
94. I do use coupons and cook. And last I checked, Tom still wears the pants in this family. I'm happy to let him have that responsibility.
95. Growing up, women wearing pants was a No No.
96. Growing up, I had a dog named So So.
97. I also had a dog named Pete.
98. His mama was named Sugar.
99. I used to put sugar in my coffee.
100. Now I'm man enough to drink it non-sugared. (Who needs sugar when you put half a cup of French Vanilla creamer in it?)
101. I'm not too good at that countin' thing yet. Which explains why I'm posting this now, instead of 3 posts from now. (That, and just 'cause I can.)
Oh, time for me to shut up and sit down? Well, so there you have it. My life story in 100 easy bullet points. Which reminds me, I need to check into gettin' some shootin' apparatuses for deer-killin'. We had venison steak today, and it was quite yummy. I'm thinkin' 'bout givin' 'ol Annie Oakley a run fer her money. Or inviting Ted Nugent to my ranch.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
This Ain't Your Mama's Aspirin
I love this guy!
I recently read that 90% of children who go to see a psychiatrist walk out, after their first visit, with a prescription, generally for Ritalin or something similar.
America, land of the drugged. That War on Drugs idea worked pretty good, didn't it?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Bits of Odd Ends
First, I would just like to say that although I did not vote for Congressman Bob Latta, I find myself today sorta liking the guy for actually representing his constituents properly. He voted NO on the
It would take a bit more than that to make me consider voting for him in the future, but at least today he didn't dip his fingers into my precariously positioned bank accounts. For that, he got another phone call, this time saying "Thanks!". His office staff was wonderfully pleasant.
Mr. Latta, when you come around these parts, perhaps we can schedule a visit to discuss other concerns I have with our country. I'd like to start with Congress' apparent broken promise to adhere to the Constitution. I also have a message you could deliver to President Bush, Mr. Bernanke, Mr. Paulson,...pretty much everyone in Washington... "You should be ashamed of yourselves!"
Turning now to other not-so-political news -
Tom was a little upset that Steve Fossett's plane was found. He was really wishing that the guy had decided to skip the country, for reasons known only to himself, and simply vanished into thin air. I think it was a rather romantic notion, actually. I doubt the man's widow would agree.
It's official - at 2.5 years old, little Mister D. has officially started the "Why???" stage. Three days into it, it's officially driving me nuts. "Because I'm the Mom, and I SAID SO!!!! Now go to the corner!" He has also become quiet proficient at tattling and lying!! Lying to get other people into trouble! I simply can't believe some of the stuff this child concocts! Two days ago, he was sitting at the table eating breakfast. The older kids weren't up yet. He started whining, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said "Uh, Buh...Qwes pu me." Translated? "Uh, Bucky...(pause to reconsider which older brother to blame this time)...Preston pushed me."
He shares a room with Bucky, so he hadn't even seen Preston yet!
The following morning, he was knocking on the bedroom door for me to come get him. He can't turn the knob by himself - a small miracle for which I offer daily thanks. I didn't scoot right up the stairs to collect his hungry little body, so naturally he started bellerin'. By the time I got to him, he was in full panic wail, tears just running off his little cheeks. (He cries actual real crocodile tears when he's fake crying!) Upon opening the door and being prepared to attack the monster threatening him, I asked him what was wrong. "Buh...(sob)..pu...(heart-breaking deep breath sucked in)...me!...(wail)..." Of course, I growled at Bucky. "Did you push him??!?" Bucky, not even out of bed, muttered, "I told him to shut up." The kid blames his poop on the dog, his farts on Gabe's home health aide, he knocks his head into the wall when he gets sent to the corner so it looks like I pushed him...I guess I just can't trust him! But he's so darn cute!
Christmas is coming - what are you doing this year? Does your church or school group collect Christmas shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child? If not, it's not real time-consuming to coordinate the project. If you want to participate but not coordinate, you can find drop-off points near you on the website, and just take your own filled shoeboxes to one of those locations.
Speaking of Christmas, I don't usually say much about what I'd like. But this year, I've stated my desire for one of these. Oh, how I'd love to have one of these! This is a Cuisinart Coffee Grinder/Brewer. Mmmmmmm.
I do not need one of these, but I would looooooove to have one of these. I also would like to have a Mother's ring. I have been asking for a Mother's ring for quite some time now. The challenge is this: I currently have 4 children I get to keep and 2 I'm certainly hoping I can keep, but that isn't up to me. I also am not opposed to getting more children for keeps. See the problem?
It's October 3rd. We have an unwritten kinda rule/guideline in our home that we don't turn the furnace on until November 1st, and we turn it off May 1st or sooner. It's been pretty dang cold the last few nights, and right now my hands are a little chilled. We have babies in the house now. We just might have to break our rule. The kids will be happy. But first I have to buy some new slippers. Mine are shot!
Monday we have a 6 month caseplan review for D... - Time flies.
And because it does, I'm going to bed.
Tune in next time.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Politicians Smell Like Bile
Dear Senators Brown and Voinovich:
Pardon me while I clean the puke off my walls as I'm typing. You don't mind, do you?
I mean, since it's your fault I'm puking, and all, I didn't think you'd mind my multitasking. Maybe you could help, since it is your fault, you know. I realize, Senator Voinovich, that your heart is heavy, and it may put undue stress on your physical body if you perform manual labor, so never mind. I wouldn't want to impose.
I called both of you today. You were apparently otherwise occupied and couldn't step to the phone, so I left a brief message with your friendly office staff. They sounded weary. I'm guessing they'd been working hard for hours. I had to wait nearly 15 minutes to actually hear them speak. The music you chose to play for me while I was on hold was a little boring, but then, I couldn't hear it real well anyway, because my six children were all nearby playing and doing their school work.
Speaking of children, did I mention I have six? You might not realize this, but it's difficult to keep food on the table with that many children in the house. Three of my children are teenage boys. Have you priced groceries recently? Our grocery bill is sometimes double our house payment. And speaking of house payments, we make ours monthly. Faithfully. Like clockwork. Every month, we stick a check in the mail to our mortgage company. They've promised we'll be done with their program in 25.5 years. So I just have to ask you? Why do we get penalized when other people don't make their payments like we do? If I don't have enough money to buy milk tomorrow, do you mind if I come to your house and empty your fridge? 'Cause my kids are hungry.
Just as a little side note, because I'm curious and nosy by nature...how does the Current Economic Crisis Situation translate
into offering tax credits for cars you plug in? My van is 14 years old, and doesn't have electrical outlets. Can I just wrap an extension cord around it and get that credit? And how can you have a solar and wind industry tax credit? Does that mean God gets a refund next year? And why do certain rural schools need extra help because of this Economic Crisis? Oh, and please tell Senator McConnell, of Kentucky, that we all prefer he uses his own money to bet on horses, 'cause we really didn't want him using ours. I suggest you have dinner with Ron Paul if you don't understand why. (He'll pay for his own, thank you. He doesn't expect his bosses to pick up the tab.)
Maybe I wasn't clear on the phone this morning. I thought I was, but maybe you mistook something I said. Since I am your boss, I would surmise that you'd listen a little more closely, but perhaps your hearing is going bad. What I told your staff to relay to you was that I wanted you to vote NO on this Big Scam that President Bush is shoving down your throat. But you didn't listen to me. I don't think I need to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I don't think you're deaf. I think you're stupid, though. If you try real hard, maybe you can convince your psychiatrists that you have a mental health problem. I'm told this new bill you just voted for has an excellent way to fix those kinds of things. Oh, forget the trying hard part - unless your shrink is a politician, he'll see right through you. The rest of us do.
And I'm sorry, but I believe it's in our mutual best interest if you no longer work for me. So I'm going to have to fire you. After today, if we're lucky, my fellow Americans will fire their employees for being stupid, as well.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go calculate if my checkbook will ever recover from your fiasco, and then I'll resume picking off chunks of Chicken Alfredo from my woodwork. Do you know what that stuff smells like, recycled?
Sincerely,
One Very Ticked Off Mom Who Will Never Vote For You Until You Have A Lobotomy And Come Back Human!!!!!
Pardon me while I clean the puke off my walls as I'm typing. You don't mind, do you?
I mean, since it's your fault I'm puking, and all, I didn't think you'd mind my multitasking. Maybe you could help, since it is your fault, you know. I realize, Senator Voinovich, that your heart is heavy, and it may put undue stress on your physical body if you perform manual labor, so never mind. I wouldn't want to impose.
I called both of you today. You were apparently otherwise occupied and couldn't step to the phone, so I left a brief message with your friendly office staff. They sounded weary. I'm guessing they'd been working hard for hours. I had to wait nearly 15 minutes to actually hear them speak. The music you chose to play for me while I was on hold was a little boring, but then, I couldn't hear it real well anyway, because my six children were all nearby playing and doing their school work.
Speaking of children, did I mention I have six? You might not realize this, but it's difficult to keep food on the table with that many children in the house. Three of my children are teenage boys. Have you priced groceries recently? Our grocery bill is sometimes double our house payment. And speaking of house payments, we make ours monthly. Faithfully. Like clockwork. Every month, we stick a check in the mail to our mortgage company. They've promised we'll be done with their program in 25.5 years. So I just have to ask you? Why do we get penalized when other people don't make their payments like we do? If I don't have enough money to buy milk tomorrow, do you mind if I come to your house and empty your fridge? 'Cause my kids are hungry.
Just as a little side note, because I'm curious and nosy by nature...how does the Current Economic Crisis Situation translate
into offering tax credits for cars you plug in? My van is 14 years old, and doesn't have electrical outlets. Can I just wrap an extension cord around it and get that credit? And how can you have a solar and wind industry tax credit? Does that mean God gets a refund next year? And why do certain rural schools need extra help because of this Economic Crisis? Oh, and please tell Senator McConnell, of Kentucky, that we all prefer he uses his own money to bet on horses, 'cause we really didn't want him using ours. I suggest you have dinner with Ron Paul if you don't understand why. (He'll pay for his own, thank you. He doesn't expect his bosses to pick up the tab.)
Maybe I wasn't clear on the phone this morning. I thought I was, but maybe you mistook something I said. Since I am your boss, I would surmise that you'd listen a little more closely, but perhaps your hearing is going bad. What I told your staff to relay to you was that I wanted you to vote NO on this Big Scam that President Bush is shoving down your throat. But you didn't listen to me. I don't think I need to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I don't think you're deaf. I think you're stupid, though. If you try real hard, maybe you can convince your psychiatrists that you have a mental health problem. I'm told this new bill you just voted for has an excellent way to fix those kinds of things. Oh, forget the trying hard part - unless your shrink is a politician, he'll see right through you. The rest of us do.
And I'm sorry, but I believe it's in our mutual best interest if you no longer work for me. So I'm going to have to fire you. After today, if we're lucky, my fellow Americans will fire their employees for being stupid, as well.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go calculate if my checkbook will ever recover from your fiasco, and then I'll resume picking off chunks of Chicken Alfredo from my woodwork. Do you know what that stuff smells like, recycled?
Sincerely,
One Very Ticked Off Mom Who Will Never Vote For You Until You Have A Lobotomy And Come Back Human!!!!!
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