With Respect to Artists Everywhere...Or...Plastic Canvas Barbie Clothes

A few months ago, one of my well meaning sisters directed me to a certain website over at Etsy. I had overheard rumors of such a place, but I hadn't yet taken the opportunity to peruse the site. Apparently, Etsy is "Your place to buy and sell all things handmade".

Ok.

I can deal with that.

I'm not overly crafty in any particular area, but occasionally I'll decide to try my hand at something new. Having a short patience thread, when (notice I said when, not if) the project doesn't turn out the way the picture tells me it should, what usually happens is:

1. I chuck said project into a drawer.

2. Three years later, I find said project and wonder what I was thinking.

3. Being the "it might come in handy someday" pack rat that I am, I chuck said project into a box headed to the basement.

4. During the next annual basement cleaning day, I find said project and chuck it into the trash heap headed for Landfill Oblivion, to join the countless previous projects so chucked.

But Etsy goes deeper than just being handmade. There's even a PLEDGE!! Oh good grief! I'm OK with making gifts. I'm OK with receiving handmade gifts. But come on, people - I want a coffee grinder for Christmas, and while my husband just might be up to the challenge, if I wait for him to design and create a personally handmade grinder/brewer, my needing-caffeine-induced headache will be so bad, my body will explode! One new pledge-taker said "it just means more" if the gift is handmade. Everybody has their soapbox - I've got a closet full of them, but that ain't one of mine! That's a "WhatEVER!" moment for me.

Perhaps my facetiousness is a result of jealousy. It isn't that I can't appreciate the beauty in handcrafted items. I can. I do. I love to receive a gift that someone has put thought and effort into making. But I think I'm jealous of the time it takes to fashion anything requiring supplies more involved than crayons and construction paper.

I have a family. I have dishes, laundry, schoolwork, cooking, chauffeuring, and endless other responsibilities. Where in the world would I find time to knit an Apple Jacket?



Furthermore, why would I WANT to knit an apple jacket?

Or a Pear Jacket?



Or a Candy Jacket?



The Apple and Pear Jackets guarantee you'll "never eat a bruised (fruit) again". What, do you line them with popcorn? Does the popcorn get it's own Jacket too? If so, does each popped kernel get it's own individual jacket, or does the group have to share? The Candy Jacket is supposed to keep your candy from getting dusty at the bottom of your purse. My imagination ran a little crazy when I first looked at that thing. I wasn't thinking about candy. Nope. Not candy.

Now with all due respect to the crafter of these fine items, I must admit that in my childhood, my Granny taught me how to crochet my own house slippers, complete with Pom Poms on the toes. I even made some for friends. Thick yarn kept our toes toasty warm. I also learned how to make Pom Pom Cats, which my Granny loved. (My Granny also let us watch Dynasty with her, but that's a whole different story!) ;)

While I don't see myself ever posting any For Sale signs in my own personal Etsy shop, (in the foreseeable future, at least) there really ARE some lovely items available, and many would make wonderful Christmas gifts. I would love a Baby Girl Quilt. It wouldn't even have to come from Etsy. ;) (And if anyone knows how to build coffee grinders, please contact Tom and offer to help, because that's probably the only way I'll get a handmade one.)

I've tried to psychoanalyze myself here. I think my near-sneering at frivolous items began when I made the decision to dislike Martha Stewart. She is just too...too...

She makes her own Potato Chips!!!

She carried a paint bucket full of tulips onto the set of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno!!!

She just irritates me!

My sister KNEW she'd set me off on a rant when she linked me to that website. True to fashion, I had to stew about it for a while, but I feel better. I can delete that email now.